Birthday Post

I turned 20 on Friday, 25th of August and I was going to make this post that day but tbh, I was exhausted.


Grateful For —
Life and my loved ones. 

Wishing I

•Get to travel soon.

•Can get a kitten soon, I need a furry friend in my life. 

Regretting—

Too many things. 

Lessons—

Love deeply every chance I get. 

•Understand that recovery is not linear and that’s okay.

•Mental illnesses are real and no one is immune.

•Pay more attention to the people around me,especially to the feelings expressed without using words. 

•It’s important to rid my space of toxicity in every form. 

New Goals—

•Read more books

•Write more

•Love myself everyday 

•Stay alive. 

A picture of me on my birthday. 

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Please Choose Life

20th July 2017- Chester Bennington committed suicide. 

Wikipedia says your death occurred on what would have been Chris Cornell’s 53rd birthday only he hung himself 2 months prior. I listened to your songs over and over until the lyrics began to sound like words from a letter you didn’t write. I cannot pretend for a minute that I know your life, I’ve tried too many times to imagine what must have gone through your mind. Maybe you thought of writing but who would you write to? Your parents? Children? Lover? Friends? Fans? How do you explain all the things that has led to that moment? How do you tell the people you love that you are not healing the way they thought you were? How do you know that you won’t be misunderstood? 

Note to self-

If you ever think of giving up on life and ending it all one day, I pray you have a minute to remember all the things that are worth living for. I hope you remember your mother’s smile,your lover’s touch, the sound of the rain,the smell of new books, the taste of frozen yogurt.Think of the wonderful places you’ve not been to and all the feelings you have not yet experienced. If you ever consider turning off the light,that is you, I pray you have a minute to remember to choose life. 

Hello World 

This should have been the first post but it wasn’t because I was anxious and I hate introductions because I suck at them. Here goes nothing :

I’m Zorbari, 19 years old and my birthday is 25th August. I am currently in the university studying(or pretending to study) Human Anatomy which is an absolutely amazing field but I hate it and can’t wait till I’m done(soon).

I love writing, it is one of the things that has helped me stay relatively sane all this years. I write about mental health issues and eating disorders and the things that affect me from time to time. I love books -poetry books, writing pads, crime and romance novels(occasionally I read about vampires and werewolves and fairies, lol). I also enjoy tv series about crime. 

I like cameras and photography, I like taking photos of people and random things that attract me. I never know how to act when my photo is taken.😁

I like clothes too,seeing clothes on people ,imagining myself  drawing and designing clothes(soon), buying them(mostly thrifting cause I’m consistently broke) and oh, pictures of clothes. Clothes make me happy. 

I like to think of myself as a creative person but really, the thought lasts only 5 seconds or less.

I like meeting and talking to new people but I have major anxiety being outside so it’s impossible to make friends since people these days always want to hangout. 

I’m insecure about alot of things and learning daily to love myself (some days are harder than others). I’m usually second guessing everything I do which is not a very good thing (I’m working on that as well). 

Also, I’m not pro ed or anything(don’t be surprised when that comes up),writing about stuff is my own way of coping . 

If you think you have or you are developing an eating disorder please talk to someone and seek help. 

Thanks for making it this far.Namaste