I turned 20 on Friday, 25th of August and I was going to make this post that day but tbh, I was exhausted.
Grateful For —
Life and my loved ones.
Wishing I —
•Get to travel soon.
•Can get a kitten soon, I need a furry friend in my life.
Too many things.
•Love deeply every chance I get.
•Understand that recovery is not linear and that’s okay.
•Mental illnesses are real and no one is immune.
•Pay more attention to the people around me,especially to the feelings expressed without using words.
•It’s important to rid my space of toxicity in every form.
•Read more books
•Love myself everyday
A picture of me on my birthday.
I feel like I’ve been waiting for you for so long. There’s a lot of history between us. What makes you different isn’t my birthday that you bring every year, that is just your party trick,you are a trickster. You taunt me with death daily and as I am about to give up, it’s my birthday and there’s fake support from people that forgot me for a year,people that will forget about me until its my birthday next year.
Every year as you arrive you bring reinforcements—my anxiety gets worse, most days I can’t get out of bed or eat or sleep, I can’t pretend like I’m happy the way I have done for 11months before you.
August, you are a lover that leaves me feeling worse everytime. You leave me wishing I never get to see you again. You come back everytime with a smirk on your face, as if you know I am not strong enough to die.
August, I wonder if you will be different this year.